Friday, November 22, 2013

Fending Off the Fever

I'm totally not a tourist. Doesn't everyone take their kid's photo in front of American phone booths?
 I have spent most of my life around small children. I am an active, energetic individual. I am decently patient and usually creative. Yet this cooped-up-with-three-littles (one of whom needs to be in school) thing has nearly killed me.

Nick has a job to do. I do, too, but its parameters are slightly more ambiguous. So here is what my and the kids' day looks like, AKA "Here is how we have been fending off hotel fever."

We find fun places to bathe
It doesn't matter if the kid is dirty or not. Had a bath this morning? Doesn't matter, throw them in the tub (or sink, whatever)
and let them splash around.

We practice our letters
To the boy down the hall who gave Jack a card and some chocolate for his birthday: "Dear Caleb, thank you for my Happy Hippoes. Your friend, Jack."

We kiss. And punch, wrestle and other various male expressions of "I love you"
The boys are always energetic, but this month has seen the testosterone jump off the charts. Thankfully, Avinly manages to bring out both Jack's and Jude's tender sides.

We try out new toys
Lo, the post office runs have been abundant. P.S. Avinly could use some size 12-18 month pajamas.

Because even Spiderman is responsible for cleaning up his web mess
We copy our older brother's superhero moves when he will not share said toys
Don't you know Spiderman and Mickey Mouse are distant cousins?

We take a page straight out of every teenage girl's playbook
How Jack manages a simultaneous duck lip and tongue roll, I'll never know. Who taught him how to take a selfie, anyway? (And did you know that "selfie" is officially the Oxford Dictionary's "Word of the Year"? Oh, the horror!).

We burn calories in any way possible
Exercise is one of the best cure-alls I know. Thankfully, we can keep a small slice of normalcy through Fit to Be, our family's favorite fitness site. They have an entire section devoted to kids' workouts that the boys love (be sure to enter the coupon code CRYSTALKUPPER at checkout to get $10 off a three-month subscription!). It cracks me up every time Jack removes his shirt, "'cause you know I'm going to get sweaty when I exercise."

Jude, meanwhile, has no idea what's going on -- but he does know that Downward Dog is similar to a center's stance. In fact, he grabbed the pigskin out of Avinly's hands shortly after I took this photo and lobbed it across the room. "Downward Dog is just like football!" he squealed.

Yes, son. Yoga and football do share so much in common.

Reverse planks!
 We chill and use sophisticated phrases like Namaste
Okay, that's a big fat lie. My children are NEVER chill. But for some odd reason, after beating us up to our third-floor room (the elevator here takes longer than the stairs), Jack assumed this position while waiting for us in front of our door.

"I'm like a sensei on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," he explained. And per his outfit, like a moose, a fighter jet pilot and an astronaut (the costume underneath his jacket). All most definitely relaxed, meditative occupations (that is, if you can call being a moose an occupation. Canadians, what are your thoughts?).

We bowl each other over
So maybe life doesn't come with bumpers. Maybe, because of circumstances out of our control, this November will not be our finest. Maybe we've thrown more gutter balls than strikes. Maybe we have lost of our tempers, whined more than the allowable nice Christian amount and forgotten how blessed we are to be together. Maybe the ball is so dang oily from a recent greasing that it totally threw Mommy off her normal 120-pin average. Ahem.

But we make those mistakes as a family, and we keep bowling, side-by-side, no matter what the cheesy-themed scoreboard says. Besides, we don't need any more turkeys; we've got enough of our own already.